I really have no idea what I am doing...

So, what I gathered from this first lesson is that these blogs are just supposed to be free writing? I don't know how accurate that is, but here we go. A whole page huh? Hmm. I think that may be kind of hard! I don't really have that much to write about, but we will try. We'll start with school i suppose. This is way tougher than i thought it would be. Even this English class. Like, I love writing, but I just don't get this assignment. I am just going to roll with what I think it is and pray I get a good grade. I cant do bad grades. I literally like panic. Kind of like this free writing crap. I think it is terrible. i know i am not supposed to revise or focus on grammar or spelling, but that is like shooting me and telling me not to bleed. I can't ignore that stuff. I will force my self for the project, but rawr. People are so freaking lazy these days when it comes to writing. Even in discussions in some of my classes the spelling and grammar is atrocious. It floors me that grown adults in college cant or refuse to spell and punctuate. this right now is terrible. i am just typing as it said to do and not focusing on it, and i feel sick almost lol See i am already out of stuff to write about. my mind always seems like so blank unless i am given something specific to talk about. i wish i could have something specific to write about. i write essays like a boss i think. i like my writing and people seem to like it too. i wrote an essay about assisted suicide once. that English teacher asked if she could keep it because she liked it so much. boom. and a couple years ago i wrote an essay (a readers response to mcbastards actually) and it was awesome too. i read it to my boyfriend the other week and he has not ate McDonald's since hahahaha writing is the only way i can properly express myself. and i don't mind if i violate my own privacy. i think everyone goes through things similar to me, and i want to be brave enough to talk about it so people know they are not alone. my life would make an awesome TV show i think. it is always something, and people say i am very animated. i am though. i like to be the center of attention and i like people knowing i exist. it can sometimes be a little much, but whatever. you either love me or you hate me! luckily, most people love me lol i wonder about people. i like to people watch. i wonder what kind of stuff goes through people's heads and such. it is interesting to imagine what someones life is like. you don't know anyone from Adam any more and the imagination is endless. you can look at Joe schmo in a suit, Mr perfect right? yeah, except you don't know he is the freaking craigslist killer. that guy covered in tats and piercings? he watched his friend get obliterated in Iraq while deployed while saving a child. you just don't know! that is also kind of a reason people need to just be freaking nice to each other too. you never know what someone is going through. so many people have been so mean to me in my life. they never had a clue what i went through at home. it made me literally  bit crazy for several years. i didn't trust or love. i grew out of it and changed my view points but sometimes it still haunts me. wow, so in this free writing experiment as I'll call it, i went from talking about college level English to drama. I guess the two do tie hand in hand when you think about it. and i am just writing exactly what is in my brain. scattered, right? oh well. i think that is the purpose of the exercise and maybe people will think this interesting lol until next time America.